“One of my best friends is getting engaged, and I think she’s making a mistake. I brought it up the other night. We were both a little drunk. And she didn’t get angry, but she told our other friends that I seemed disappointed in her. Maybe I overstepped my bounds. I’ve asked myself if I’m just jealous. Or if I’m trying to bring us back to the place we were: two roommates, watching movies, exploring New York. But I really think my only concern is her happiness. I just don’t think her fiancé ‘gets’ her. He’s a really nice guy. He’s not asking her to change or anything. She’s just not herself when she’s around him. She always seems like she’s about to say one thing-- then she’ll pause-- and say something else. Like she’s searching for the words that will make her who she needs to be for the relationship to work.”Download image
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As a person that’s been through this with my own bestie. Speak your peace once, after that just be there no matter what. Good friendship last a long time when you work at it.
Real friends are honest. You did the right thing. Just don’t judge her if she chooses to go through with it. We’re all on a journey of self discovery. Just keep being her honest friend so you can still be in her life the moment she realizes you might have been right.
Speak up!!! I didn’t and I’ve regretted it ever since.
Sometimes you end up marrying someone because they give you what you want at the time. Rarely do you ever find someone who is perfect for you and who will grow in just the same way. If we choose to stay married then we all settle for what we are given. Perfect relationships are a fairy tale. The sooner you realize this the more content you will be.
At the end of the day you're not IN the relationship so you're expecting her to act like she acts with you
Its ok to speak your mind in these situations. Your friend will appreciate it.
So glad you are her friend. If you are the only one who tells her the truth, you are a true friend.
Her journey. Let her make her mistakes. Woman rarely take advise from a friend if they are in love, let alone engaged
Maybe talk to her about being true to herself in a relationship, if she doesn’t marry this man, she will just carry on this type of behavior to her next relationship
My friend told me a week before my wedding I should not marry my husband. We stopped speaking. Then after I married he changed and it was an oppressive relationship. We divorced and I found my friend of fb. If I would have listened I could have saved myself a lot of pain. It’s right to tell your friend your concern. Your gut doesn’t lie.
I still regret not trying harder to express this to a friend. It ended up being unfortunate for both of them in every way except for their beautiful child. But I don't have much faith that he would have listened. People have to walk their roads.
Experience is the best teacher for some people! Just know that you’re a great friend who is concerned! ❤️
A friend is someone who tells you were you might be wrong rather than always praise you for everything you do. You told her how you feel but at the end of the day is her decision. If it turns out that you are right then at least you won't feel guilty about it. If not then your friend will be happy so either way win-win for you!
You’re a true friend. I hope she thinks she searches her soul and staying true to herself. If in the end she marries, I hope she doesn’t sacrifice being her true self. She’ll be truly unhappy.
You did the right thing.
Sometimes you have to let people make their own mistakes.
Her intuition is calling
Sometimes when u really are in love with someone u lose the words to say anything, hoping it’s perfect whatever you say them. So if this is the only reason you find he isn’t for her think of how u would be in love.